The Mechanics Of Chugging: Beer Bong Functionality Explained

A beer bong is a device that allows users to consume a large amount of alcohol in a short period of time. It is constructed by connecting a large funnel to a tube, and sometimes includes a valve to control the flow of beer. Beers are poured into the funnel and as the user drinks, the beer flows through the tube into their mouth. This process is often referred to as 'funneling' and is often done as part of a party stunt, drinking game, or to get intoxicated quickly.

Choosing the right beer

When choosing the right beer for a beer bong, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, you are essentially "injecting" a full 12-ounce beer into your body in a matter of seconds, so it's best to avoid heavy, high-alcohol beers like stouts or IPAs. Instead, opt for lighter beers with lower alcohol content, which will be easier on your stomach and wallet. Beers that end in "Light" are ideal.

Lager, for example, is a crisp and refreshing option that is typically light in flavour, colour, and alcohol content. Some popular examples include Budweiser, Coors, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. These beers are also produced in larger quantities, making them readily available and affordable.

Another option is ale, which offers a full-bodied experience with hints of fruit or spice and a hoppy finish. Brown ales, pale ales, and Indian Pale Ales (IPAs) fall under this category. Pale ales, in particular, tend to be lower in alcohol content and are known for their light and drinkable nature. Examples include Sierra Nevada and Fuller's ESB.

If you have a sweet tooth, you might enjoy malt beers, which often feature notes of caramel, toffee, and nuts. Guiness Draught Stout and Murphy's Stout are popular choices in this category.

Regardless of the type of beer you choose, it's recommended to let it sit for about ten minutes after taking it out of the fridge. This will prevent the beer from being too chilled, which can be harsh on your throat when bonging.

Remember, the key factors when choosing a beer for a beer bong are lightness in flavour, colour, and alcohol content. Opt for beers that are easy to drink and won't weigh you down, both during and after the experience.

Pouring the beer

If there is still foam left in the tube, you can use nose grease to get rid of it. Simply rub your index finger in the crevices on the sides of your nose and stir your greasy finger in the beer. The oil will cause the foam to disappear.

Once you have poured the beer and dealt with any foam, you are ready to drink the beer bong.

Getting rid of excess foam

When using a beer bong, excess foam can slow down the drinking process. Here are some tips to minimise foam when using a beer bong:

Pouring technique

When pouring the beer, tilt the funnel and hold the can or bottle as close to it as possible. Pour slowly and carefully to avoid spillages. This will help to minimise the amount of foam created.

Nose grease

Despite your best efforts with the pouring technique, some foam is inevitable. To get rid of it, rub your index finger in the crevices on the sides of your nose. If you've been partying for a while, there should be some oil there that you can use to break down the foam. Stir your finger around in the beer to make the foam disappear. If you have a clean face, you could try using a friend's nose grease instead.

Olive oil or cooking oil

Pour a small amount of olive oil or cooking oil onto the foam. Spread it through the foam with a spoon, or let it spread by itself. The oil will break down the foam by bursting the tiny bubbles.

Magnetised beer

Belgian food scientists have discovered that passing beer through a magnetic field can reduce foaming. The magnets cause the hops in the beer to break apart and spread throughout the beverage, increasing their surface area and making them more effective at binding with the proteins that cause foaming.

Holding the bong

Positioning the Bong-Holder:

The bong-holder, also known as the "funnel-holder," should stand or sit comfortably behind the drinker. They should hold the bong by the funnel, ensuring the tube remains securely attached. The bong-holder should position the funnel directly above the drinker's head, creating a vertical line from the funnel to the drinker's mouth. This alignment ensures the beer flows smoothly downward due to gravity.

Controlling the Flow:

The bong-holder has an essential role in controlling the flow of beer. They can tip the funnel slightly to initiate the flow or adjust the angle to increase or decrease the speed. It is crucial to be cautious and not tilt the funnel too much, as this can cause the beer to gush out, overwhelming the drinker. The bong-holder should communicate with the drinker to ensure a comfortable pace.

Avoiding Spillages:

Spillages can occur if the funnel is tilted too much or if the tube becomes detached. To avoid this, the bong-holder should maintain a steady grip on the funnel and ensure the tube is securely clamped. If spillages occur, it is important to clean them promptly to prevent slips or accidents. The bong-holder should also be mindful of their surroundings and ensure there are no fragile items or valuables nearby that could be damaged by spillages.

Multi-Person Bong Holding:

In the case of a multi-person beer bong, with Y-valves connecting multiple tubes, the bong-holding technique may vary slightly. Each bong-holder should coordinate with the drinker they are assisting, ensuring the beer flows smoothly and safely. They should also be mindful of the other bong-holders and drinkers to avoid any accidental collisions or entanglements.

Safety Considerations:

While holding the bong, it is crucial to be aware of the drinker's comfort and well-being. The bong-holder should pay attention to the drinker's signals and stop pouring if the drinker needs a break. Additionally, they should be mindful of the drinker's surroundings, ensuring there is enough space and no obstacles that could cause tripping or accidents. The bong-holder plays a vital role in ensuring the experience is safe and enjoyable for all participants.

Drinking the beer bong

Next, pour the beer into the funnel. Fold the tube so that the end hangs just above the funnel to prevent spills. Tilt the funnel and pour slowly to minimise foam.

Foam is inevitable, so use the "nose grease" technique to get rid of it. Rub your index finger in the crevices on the sides of your nose to collect oil, then stir your finger around in the beer to make the foam disappear.

Now, you're ready to drink the beer bong. With both hands, hold the end of the tube close to your mouth. Inhale deeply, then exhale and insert the tube directly into your mouth while taking a knee. As soon as the tube falls below the funnel, the beer will start flowing. Open your throat and let gravity do the work, allowing the beer to descend to your stomach with minimal chugging effort. The goal is to finish the beer as quickly as possible.

After you've finished, you may feel a minor pain in your chest, which is normal. Belch to relieve the gas, and have access to a nearby sink in case the beer comes back up.

Remember, drinking too much beer, especially in a short amount of time, can be dangerous. Always drink responsibly and never drink and drive.

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